The Transporter

The Transporter began a series of over-the-top action movies starring Jason Statham. If you are like me, this has been a positive development. While I feel that Statham is a fine actor who could do more serious work (and did in The Bank Job), he is able to elevate these implausible action movies to a level they may not deserve. The Transporter is a straightforward action movie and features some creative fights.

The Blu-Ray is a mixed bag. The transfer isn't bad and it sounded great on my system, but there are little extras. There is a commentary featuring Statham - I haven't listened to that yet, but will probably give it a shot. Other than that, the only special features are trailers.

Given that they are coming out with a third Transporter, it may be worth holding off on these films as I would guess a double-dip is on the way.

Not much to say here. It is a great movie on UMD for the PSP.

I am gradually buying as many good movies on UMD as I can. If you own a PSP and look for great movies on UMD, you know they are rare. (There is a LOT of crap available on UMD though. That might explain why I always see large quantities of Ali G and Viva La Bam on UMD.)

I have about 40 movies on UMD so far. This is one of them.

I bought my PSP to watch movies, play The Simpsons game, and play Tomb Raider. That's it. I love my PSP.

Transporter DVD

Transporter is a high action movies involving an ex-Special forces soldier who earns his living transporting "packages" for various clients, mostly shady. In this movie, the transporter ( Jason Stratham )violates his own rules ( he's real big on rules ) and looks inside the package, doesn't like what he sees and doesn't complete the delivery. Bad idea, now the client is after him, along with the police. The movie is set in the French countryside so if you don't enjoy the thrill-a-minute action, just enjoy the view.

Highly recommended for fans of Jason Stratham , James Bond movies, and high action movies, especially car chases.

Gunner March, 2008

Jason Statham stars in this action packed American directorial debut of action director Cory Yuen as Frank Martin. Frank is an ex soldier of fortune who now dedicates his life to transport packages (and I don't mean UPS) he transports whatever it is, usually illegal things. He goes by the rules, and never breaks them. First rule never change the deal, 2nd rule no names, 3rd rule never open the package. But one day on his daily route to transport a package, he gets a flat tire. He opens the trunk, to retrieve his spare tire, and finds that the package is moving, breaking one of his own rules he opens the package. Inside he finds a girl. This girl seems to be involved in smuggling of people for slave labor, along with her there are 400 other individuals being smuggled in containers. Afterwards a whole bunch of action, explosions and hi adrenalized fighting scenes take place. And everything happens for opening the package. It may seem a little silly, but this movie is awesome, definitely buy this, ignore the sequel it's not that great.

MY PERSONAL RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

Ay Caramba! Where to start with this fast paced "Ronin" meets stock Jet Li movie. I'd say it was a movie about cars, but that's really only true for the first 1/3rd of it. I'd say it was also about cool kung fu, but that's only for the middle 1/3rd of it. And I'd say it was about waaaaay over the top fight sequences and physics defying stunts, but that was the last 1/3rd of it. So I guess I'll start with the first 1/3rd of the movie and work my way through it in sequence, so that we all know how well this movie started, and why it developed 4 flat wheels, blew its head gasket, and subsequently ran off of a cliff. By the way, "SPOILERS AHEAD!". Consider yourself warned!

Jason Stratham is a "transporter", that is a professional wheelman, or for those of you not in the know, a getaway car driver. Clients, typically those with criminal tendencies who need someone with a good set of wheels and the skills to use them, contact Stratham's character, Frank Martin, and contract him to serve as their getaway driver. And the man plies his trade with unbelievable skill, without so much as a dent or scratch. Frank lives a life of seclusion along the beaches of France after retiring from the military. At least that's his cover to local police investigator Tarconi (played well by really likable Francois Berleand) who is ever suspicious of our main character.

Frank is very careful in his job. He lives by 3 rules; 1 - Never change the deal, 2 - No names mentioned, and 3 - Never open the package. When Frank takes a light job transporting such a package in his trunk, he breaks one of his own rules and looks inside the package to discover a Chinese girl inside. Still trying to maintain his business "ethics" Frank pretends he didn't see anything and delivers the package to the intended client, a smarmy playboy/crime lord type played by Matthew Schulze...who I'm pretty sure was hitting on our hero there for a moment. I think. At any rate Schulze's character knows that Frank's looked inside the package, and attempts to kill him via the use of an exploding suitcase he's asked Frank to transport to another client.

Now, up until this point in the movie everything was working hunkey-dory, which is when the director decided to pour about 2 lbs. of sugar into the gas tank. Stratham, having narrowly avoided being killed, goes on a kung-fu rampage against the goons at Schulze's house, and once finished there steals his Mercedes, one that has a certain Chinese woman hiding in the back seat. This is where the movie starts to ask you to suspend your disbelief. It will be asking this a lot of you in the remaining hour of the film, and in ever-increasing levels.

From here we know that the Chinese woman, played by rather cute Shu Qi, is named "Lai" and was being used as some kind of bartering chip, or as a hostage, or something. The movie is never really clear on why she was being transported, although I guess it might be because she's nosy and put her cute nose somewhere it didn't belong. At any rate Frank cuts Lai loose in his seaside villa and the two ponder their next move. The next morning, Frank's house is attacked by a bunch of goons armed with enough ordinance to make 3 sequels.

After the predictable escape and a totally out of left field sex scene, the plot tells us that this whole mess is about 400 Chinese people trapped in some shipping containers that are about to enter port. Lai wants Frank to help her rescue those people from Schulze and her father, some sort of demented Chinese business man/crime lord with no sideburns. The plot kind of goes in several different directions at this point, and at no time follows anything remotely resembling the word "linear", although "predictable" somehow becomes the mantra of the entire film. There's more kung-fu in this movie than you can shake a chopstick at, and enough over the top antics to keep you paying attention long after the plot has ceased to matter. And it will cease to matter, trust me. And the stuff that just totally disregards physics...it's mind boggling. Here's an impromptu list of absurdities that would keep Einstein busy with formulas long after he'd conquered the Theory of Relativity.

- How exactly did Lai manage to open the door on the car while taped into an office chair, let alone climb into the thing?
- Bullets ricocheting off of oil soaked concrete don't make sparks, but will blow up an oil can floating in the ocean
- One can throw a tire iron, while off balance and clinging to the underside of a truck moving at 60+ mph, with only one hand and successfully smack a driver in a car 10 feet away through an open window. And right in his temple. Ow.
- 200 Chinese people will easily fit in a truck trailer, with lots of room to spare. Also they don't go to the bathroom or eat for a week at a time. When Lai opened the back doors it should have smelled like a poop factory in overdrive. Instead one slightly disheveled child meanders out and the trailer isn't even half packed.
- The piece de la resistance. The infamous parachute scene. Are we supposed to believe that after an impromptu drop (never mind that he dropped from the plane in front of the convoy and then magically appears behind it, in mid-air) from 500 feet that his expensive steerable parachute (which all crop dusters are equipped with) travels at least 70mph? I'm not even going to touch the probability of his actually even being able to *land* on top of the truck, let alone getting into physical contact with it. I don't think there are Navy SEALS alive that could duplicate this one.

Other things I learned from this film:

- All hired goons are masters of the martial arts, in one form or another.
- Said goons are pretty courteous, always taking the time to attack people one at a time, even when outnumbering them 10 to 1.
- Chinese women on the lam can cook local cuisine on their first try and not only make it edible, but make one overly sentimental about it. I wanna see Lai try doing pit-cooked pork shoulder barbecue in one try. Then I'll be a believer.
- European truck cabs are big enough to be apartments
- European buses have lots of foot long metal bars laying around on the floor. If you ever find yourself in one and wonder why watch this movie and you'll understand.
- A stethoscope and a submachine gun are standard ship container searching equipment
- French gendarmes apparently drive in subcompact police cars. This may be fact, but if the local police here start using Honda Civics I *will* be moving.

So after all this, why give the movie 3 stars? Well, to a certain degree there were some things the movie got right. The first 1/3rd of the movie is fantastic. I really, really enjoyed it and wish that the director could have kept it going. The soundtrack is surprisingly good. The music used fits the different scenarios nicely and adds just the right amount of feeling for the scenes.

This is a movie that caters to a particular kind of viewer. If you enjoyed "Ronin" or "Heat" this is *not* going to be your cup of tea. If you loved either of the "Matrix" sequels (unlike the original, which was pretty solid), "The Fast and the Furious", or "xXx" this is gonna be a wonderful experience for you, one you'll want to hastily add to your collection of style over substance collection. And you know who you are. :)