Conan the Barbarian - Collector's Edition

It has loads of blood & dismemberment & some softcore sex (how could someone make such a movie and get elected governor?;) I guess we're just lucky "W" wasn't a weightlifter) But it's the story of Conan and this is what Conan does if you've read any of the books or comic books (and Arnold looks like he's straight out of a comic book). Arnold did fine w/the dialogue he was given, which is pretty sparse. It's definitely heavy on the action side. It's a very simple story, but action keeps it moving, although it might be a little slow for today's standards. I wish the dvd consistently looked better, but it doesn't and b/c of that it looks a bit dated. And btw the dvd is very basic. It's a movie/character that begs to be remade (especially since the sequels grew more ridiculous, Wilt Chamberlain, really?), but which is pretty good for what it is.

Conan the Barbarian is the ultimate guy movie. It has great action, violence sexy women and that is just on the surface. The story itself is epic and has had many copies even to this day. It's just a great story, a boy grows up and gets revenge for his parents being killed. The special effects for the movie are just great. I love this giant snakes and the spirits trying to take Conan to the afterlife. The music only adds to this story and everything combined makes this film come alive. Overall, a really great movie that can be watched back to back and still be fun. I don't think this is the kind of movie that ever gets boring.

Robert E. Howards comic books were one of the most amazing and explicit-graphic masterpieces in pulp novels history, and my own personal favorite. Such a fantastic world of warriors, wizards and monsters described a new dimension in wich the very muscular and mythological power was the way to overcome the most spectacular dangers, the display of ancient imagery and raw brainless macho skills to survive a cruel world were everything was permited. The posibilities were infinite, and Howard took the most of them creating a large empire of savagism, a spectacular reign of the abyss.

On the top of the food chain in such a cruel and violent universe, stands the most outstanding mighty fighter ever conceived in ancient fantasy imagery: Conan the barbarian, an invincible warrior trained under the must excrutiating circumstances by the best masters of war, building his incredible physique after being a tormented working slave, and holding a soul cursed by vengeance-thirst after witnessing the slaughter of his tribe in his shattered infance. His famous speech about what's "best" in life is shocking statement of the cruel reality marked in his essence.

The film itself is an excelent vehicle for Arnold's "skills" and a portrayal of a pre-historic world with a visual and graphic content that does fair reminiscence to the atmosphere in Howard's novels. The reach of the values and social behaviours are perfectly achieved as well as an intense and dysfunctional religious satire of the cult of the snake. The higher priest Thulsa Doom, masterfully portrayed by Darth-Vader's voice and veteran actor James Earl-Jones, is a statement in leadership, demanding without even moving total obedience and discipline, mixed with an intended cruelty and manipulative but non corrupted evil and wisdom. Conan don't need to be at the level of such a character, convinced of his own incredible strength he faces reality: his means are brutal but the power of the human mind is beyond steel and physical skills.

My favorite Character was of course Valeria, a warrior woman that captured Conan's attention with her incredible skills, but catched his heart with tenderness. Fortunately, the domesticated beast never lost his dignity, transforming their love in a ludic relationship that enchants instead of bore, the tear-jerking climax of their romance is heart breaking and pure. I dare to call one single guy who wasn't turned on by this monument of a woman played by Shandal Bergman, a renegade selfish thief, adventurous as few feminist icons: "Do you want to live forever?". Outstanding, as well as the incredibly enormous fanfare soundtrack and the variety of talents involved in production and direction like Dino de Laurentis. A small shinny gem in filmaking, no doubt.

You know everything about this awesome achievement in ancient fantasy and pre-historic realms. If you don't, my humble tribute for fans and a fair recomendation for newcommers.

NEWS: I think there's a remake for 2009:
CONFIRMATION : Nu Image / Millennium production year: 2009

Distributed by Lionsgate films

Wrtitten by "Sahara" screenwriters: Thomas dean donnelly / Joshua Oppenheimer.

People forget that this started out as Lin Carter and L. Sprague de Camp's
revival of Robert E. Howard's classic tales that rivaled Edgar Rice Burrough's John Carter and Tarzan in the 1930's.
We think, now, of this film as the first staring film of a California Governor.
The nudity was somewhat extreme in this picture for an 80's
main attraction, but the action and adventure was a hit.
Ghosts, demons and snake changing villains made this a strange
offering next to star wars in some ways.
I like it, but wish they had tried to make it more like the original
books.

Ok, we've all seen Conan; lets talk about this unbelievable uproarious commentary.
If you have yet to experience all the, "exACtly"s and "I knowwww"s, Please pop this dvd in and select the alternate soundtrack.

Most striking to me is that in every other actor's commentary ever made, the actors refer to their characters in a familiar third person, for instance, "John was feeling very jealous after seeing the (blah, blah, blah) and I felt that John would want to (blah, blah, blah)" et cetera, et cetera... Well, Not Arnold. His commentary on Conan is strictly first person, for instance "I really got laid a lot in dis movie." Hilarious!!!

Other notables include such fantastically insightful observations like, "Wow, look at how huge I was. Remember how many weights I had to lift to be so huge?"

Anyway, I don't want to give too much more away. If you have this collector's edition and have not yet experienced the commentary, please watch it now!!! Trust me, It'll make ya' wonder how he ever beat Gary Coleman in that election.