Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion

Raising a child outside of a congregation can be a lonely experience. Although my husband and I are both atheists, and are part of the freethought community, there's little in the way of family resources available to us.

Along comes this book. I had high hopes, though I somewhat expected to be disappointed; the first time someone does something, it doesn't always come out that well. Imagine my surprise when I found myself learning so much about what it is to be a child without a church, even though I had been one. I remember my mother and father groping their way in the dark through various situations, and though they did pretty well, I imagine it would have been a lot easier with something like this to guide them.

This is a permanent part of our parenting library, and I recommend it to parents whenever I get a chance!

I'm an atheist and have read extensively on the subject, but practical advice for child rearing has always been lacking in this area, so I had high expectations for this book. The reviews here all seem to be excellent, so I was expecting a lot more than I received.

The book is basically a collection of anecdotes from various writers. I don't have a problem with this format, but some of the writers didn't even have children. This was perhaps done to give a perspective from a child's viewpoint of what atheism is about, but I didn't really need this perspective. Again, I have read so many other books that having someone discuss what it means to be an atheist isn't helpful when I was expecting a book about raising children.

The other aspect of this book is that the principle writers seem to be more of the "angry" or missionary atheists, mostly wanting to convince people of the benefits of atheism. Again, I don't need to be converted, I've been an atheist now for over 20 years. The less preachy of the writers was Dwakins, so you can imagine what the others were like.

I hate to provide the lowest review of this book to date, but I think people buying this book should know what to expect. This is not a book that will answer any questions for you and others have noted this in their reviews as well, but it should be emphasized. It will however give you reassurance that you're not the only person with these questions. Still, if you've been an atheist a long time, you're likely not going to read anything new or insightful in this book.

I found this collection of short chapters by various humanist writers on how to instill morality and ethics in children without religion to be a real joy. The authors (including the editor) are clever, humorous, and kind-hearted. Despite their obvious intelligence, they do not talk down to the reader, and many chapters could be understood even by pre-adolescents. I am a ex-Christian who now embraces science and humanism, and often feel alone in a country saturated by mainstream religions and their seemingly endless resources. That kind of isolation is bearable for an adult (though not pleasant), but I was really worried about raising a child without the communities that religions offer. Yet, I don't want to hide my beliefs just so my child will be accepted in a group that has the finances to provide a nice building to go to, with fun activities that include large numbers of kids her age. I found encouragement that I am not alone, and that there are at least a few secular organizations who are trying to provide activities for children that are based on the wonders of science, naturalism, and philosophy instead of indoctrination into the intolerant attitudes of religious dogma. Once my child passes the infant stage, I will try to volunteer at some of them to help perpetuate their growth. Thank you Mr. McGowan!

I'd say this is the best book out there for knowing it's ok, even good, to raise your child to make her own decisions about religion. It's good to have many different views from intelligent, good people who are doing it with love and care, and that you are not alone. I also like the fact that a few even come right out and say what I have thought but didn't dare express, that brain-washing kids to believe they are being watched every second and will burn in hell for snitching a cookie from the cookie jar is "mental terrorism". This concept terrified me my entire childhood and I promise I won't do it to my child!
I also liked the reference guides to finding good books for children about religions without teaching them that one is right and the rest are wrong. Also helped with the "Santa" issue. Definitely recommended.

This isn't just a good book for raising your kids secularly, it's a good book about parenting period. It discusses issues like how to deal with death, how to deal with people who don't necessarily believe the same as you and your family does and how to raise your children to be ethical human beings. There are definitely some essays that are more aimed at the atheists among us, but this is a good read for all parents.